You’re deeper into imposter syndrome than you think.
Last month, I found myself struggling and needing some help putting together a marketing roadmap for a business I’m working with.
I know my stuff and had a well-laid out plan but as with any planning, I felt I may have missed something. Especially something with this many moving parts.
So because I don’t know what I don’t know, I enlisted the help of a friend and marketing mentor of mine to go over things.
It was a brief call which helped a lot and after some nice chit-chat, hung up the phone and carried on with the planning.
But then I immediately received a message from him, one that completely blind-sided me. It read:
“It’s really good to see you got your shit together. Super proud of you.”
The kindness made me well up: I was not used to it.
Having that acknowledgement meant a lot to me but as I looked deeper into this seemingly inoculus message, I began to think.
“Did I really not have my shit together before this?”
And the answer was yes. My shit was strewn about, so to speak.
Upon reflection, I realised that I had been going through a career-change of sorts. Upskilling, networking, working my tail off and general immersion in the field.
By any means, I was indeed a marketer. Perhaps not with a lot of experience but I knew my stuff.
So what took me so long to appear to get all my shit together?
Of course, it was our good friend imposter syndrome.
The Imposter Strikes Back
Almost everyone who strives for more in life has experience imposter syndrome. That feeling that you don’t belong, that you’re tricking people and that you’re actually somebody else.
Which in many ways is true. But not because of your lack of skills or lack of capabilities in your new endeavour. It’s okay to be new and bad at something as long as you’re willing to graft and learn. People understand this and you probably do too.
What’s really holding you back is your association with your previous identity. The person you were before you started your journey.
It’s this grip we have on our previous self that keeps us acting as imposters because in essence, we are.
At some point we become dissatisfied with life and decide to take on something new, something challenging, something different.
That dissatisfaction is comfortable though because that’s all we know. It takes courage to not only make the decision to change but to actually let go and step into the new reality you seek.
So depending how entrenched you are with your identity, this may take longer than expected. As was the case with me.
I was very attached to my music-oriented, casual party-dude self and resisted becoming the stiff, spreadsheet-laden businessman I always fought to become growing up.
Of course, it was never as black and white as what my teenage thoughts had engrained in me.
It wasn’t until I gained more and more experience of the business world that I realised my personality not only differentiated me but made me more noticeable and likeable.
And it was that small message that it brought this to my attention…
There’s a good quote from Kaleel Jamison speaking about relationships but applicable the relationship with yourself
“Relationships — of all kinds — are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is.The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers…”
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